The Wooster Papers

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1915. 3 chapters, 33 scenes.

Chapter 1: Extricating Young Gussie

  1. Aunt Agatha rouses Bertie early to tell him Gussie has fallen for a vaudeville girl in New York and orders him to go over and stop the marriage.Chapter 1An illustration
  2. Landing in New York, Bertie finds Gussie gone from his hotel, takes two lightning whizzers at the bar and strolls round Times Square feeling free of Aunt Agatha.Chapter 1, New York
  3. Bertie runs into Gussie, now calling himself George Wilson, at Abe Riesbitter's agency, where Gussie is booked for the small time so that Ray's father will let him marry her, and Bertie secretly cables Gussie's mother.Chapter 1, Abe Riesbitter's officeABE RIESBITTER.
  4. Gussie rehearses his songs all weekend at the music publishers while a hook-nosed pianist interrupts every line for pep.Chapter 1, the music-roomGUSSIE WOULD CLEAR HIS THROAT AND BEGIN: ' THERE'S A GREAT BIG CHOO-CHOO WAITING AT THE DEEPO.
  5. Gussie's debut is a stage-fright disaster until the pretty girl next to Bertie, Ray, stands up and sings the moon song with him and makes him the hero of the house.Chapter 1, the uptown theatreTHE GIRL NEXT ME GOT UP IN HER SEAT, CHUCKED HER HEAD BACK. AND BEGAN TO SING.
  6. Bertie meets Ray and her formidable father, and Aunt Julia arrives in New York demanding to know why he cabled.Chapter 1
  7. Bertie shows Aunt Julia Ray's act as Exhibit A, and she pronounces the girl an artist.Chapter 1, the Auditorium
  8. Aunt Julia watches her son perform as Exhibit B, much improved, and Bertie explains Danby's condition and sends her to see him.Chapter 1, the uptown theatre
  9. Aunt Julia and Joe Danby recognise each other as old stage partners, Danby confesses he always loved her, and when she reveals Gussie is her son he asks her to come back to the profession and she falls into his arms.Chapter 1, the Danbys' apartmentDEAR OLD JOE! FANCY MEETING YOU AGAIN!
  10. Gussie reports that his mother is to marry Danby and he is to marry Ray, and Bertie answers Aunt Agatha's cable: 'Stay where you are. Profession overcrowded.'Chapter 1, Gussie's hotelIT WAS NOT AN EASY CABLE TO WORD, BUT I MANAGED IT.

Chapter 2: Jeeves Makes an Omelette

  1. Aunt Dahlia telephones to summon Bertie to Marsham Manor for the week-end to charm Cornelia Fothergill into selling her serial to Milady's Boudoir, hinting at a little job she wants done.Chapter 2, Bertie's flat
  2. Driving down to Hampshire, Bertie tells Jeeves of his foreboding about Aunt Dahlia's 'little something'.Chapter 2
  3. Bertie arrives at Marsham Manor and meets the bearded Fothergills and Cornelia, while Everard frets about a mewing cat.Chapter 2, the hall at Marsham
  4. Aunt Dahlia shows Bertie the Venus that Edward Fothergill painted and Everard loathes, and orders him to steal and burn it that night, a deal she has struck with Cornelia for the serial.Chapter 2, the dining-room at Marsham
  5. Bertie tells Jeeves of the job, Jeeves offers to break a window with treacle and brown paper, and the knife arrives at the door.Chapter 2, Bertie's room at Marsham
  6. At one in the morning Jeeves reports the window already silently broken.Chapter 2, Bertie's room at Marsham
  7. Bertie creeps downstairs and cuts a picture out of its frame with four quick strokes.Chapter 2, the dining-room at Marsham
  8. Bertie, Aunt Dahlia and Jeeves snip up and burn the canvas until Jeeves notices the last scrap is signed Everard Fothergill.Chapter 2, Bertie's room at Marsham
  9. Bertie catches Edward Fothergill stealing back his own Venus and swears secrecy, then refuses Jeeves's plan to have him found stunned by burglars, and is promptly knocked out from behind.Chapter 2, the hall at Marsham
  10. Bertie wakes with a sore head to hear the gang is blamed, Cornelia is grateful and the serial is Aunt Dahlia's, and asks Jeeves to drop the eggs and omelettes.Chapter 2, Bertie's room at Marsham

Chapter 3: Jeeves and the Greasy Bird

  1. Back from Glossop's clinic, Bertie learns from Jeeves, via the Junior Ganymede club book, that Lady Chuffnell won't marry Sir Roderick while Honoria is unmarried, and that Aunt Dahlia is coming to dinner.Chapter 3, Bertie's flat
  2. Over dinner Aunt Dahlia reveals that Blair Eggleston is too timid to propose to Honoria, then asks Bertie to play Santa Claus at her children's party, and he flatly refuses.Chapter 3, Bertie's flat
  3. Jeeves backs Bertie's refusal, and Bertie sends him for roses to soothe Aunt Dahlia, secretly needing her help with a plan for Glossop.Chapter 3, Bertie's flat
  4. Aunt Dahlia spurns Bertie's roses but agrees to his scheme: he will rush Honoria so that a jealous Eggleston proposes, while she eggs Eggleston on.Chapter 3, Aunt Dahlia's London house
  5. Bertie gives Honoria the rush of a lifetime with lunches, dinners and night clubs.Chapter 3
  6. Bertie tells Aunt Dahlia he kissed Honoria in the Park under Eggleston's eye, then Honoria phones: Eggleston proposed, broke it off after seeing the kiss, and now she means to marry Bertie.Chapter 3, Aunt Dahlia's London house
  7. Putting the problem as A, B and Caesar, Bertie gets Jeeves to suggest that A produce another fiancée, but neither can see where to find one.Chapter 3, Bertie's flat
  8. Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright's stories of theatrical agents give Bertie the idea of hiring an actress through one.Chapter 3, the Drones Club
  9. In the Charing Cross Road the greasy agent Jas Waterbury takes fifteen quid to supply his niece Trixie, a Fairy Queen, as Bertie's pretend fiancée.Chapter 3, Jas Waterbury's office
  10. Waterbury phones to say all is set, and Catsmeat tells Bertie that Waterbury once chiselled Oofy Prosser out of two thousand pounds.Chapter 3, the Drones Club
  11. With Trixie on his lap Bertie expects Honoria but gets Eggleston, who, told Trixie is Bertie's fiancée, announces that he and Honoria are engaged again.Chapter 3, Bertie's flat
  12. Waterbury phones to say Trixie expects a wedding, demands two thousand pounds in heart balm on threat of breach of promise and Porky Jupp, and Aunt Dahlia summons Jeeves to confer.Chapter 3, Aunt Dahlia's London house
  13. With Bertie behind the piano, Jeeves poses as a broker's man and Aunt Dahlia threatens to ship Bertie penniless to Canada, routing Waterbury; Jeeves then gets Glossop cast as Santa Claus and Bertie agrees to Florida.Chapter 3, Bertie's flat