The Wooster Papers

Books

Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves

1963. 24 chapters, 35 scenes.

Chapter 1

  1. Over a cheerful breakfast Bertie welcomes Jeeves back from Brinkley and is aghast to hear that Sir Watkyn Bassett, Madeline, Stiffy, Bartholomew and Gussie were among Aunt Dahlia's guests.Chapter 1, Bertie's flat
  2. Aunt Dahlia phones to explain she invited Bassett to take Uncle Tom's mind off taxes, mentions the black amber statuette and invites herself to lunch, and Bertie defies Jeeves by wearing his new Alpine hat to the Ritz.Chapter 1, Bertie's flat

Chapter 2

  1. Over lunch at the Ritz Emerald Stoker backs Bertie over the Alpine hat and reveals she is off to stay a month at Totleigh Towers, so Bertie briefs her on the Bassett menagerie and learns she thinks Gussie a lamb, leaving him with a presentiment of doom.Chapter 2, the Ritz
  2. Brooding at the Drones, Bertie is told that the Rev. H. P. Pinker wants to see him, and Stinker lumbers in and upsets a small table.Chapters 2–3, the Drones smoking-room

Chapter 3

  1. Brooding at the Drones, Bertie is told that the Rev. H. P. Pinker wants to see him, and Stinker lumbers in and upsets a small table.Continued from chapter 2
  2. Relieved, Bertie goes home and finds Gussie in a cab bound for Totleigh, who raves about Emerald Stoker and then declares that Madeline makes him sick.Chapters 3–4, Bertie's flat

Chapter 4

  1. Relieved, Bertie goes home and finds Gussie in a cab bound for Totleigh, who raves about Emerald Stoker and then declares that Madeline makes him sick.Continued from chapter 3

Chapter 5

  1. Aunt Dahlia telephones in a fury over the cancelled lunch, hears Bertie is off to Totleigh, and warns him that Sir Watkyn is trying to steal Jeeves.Chapter 5, London
  2. Bertie drives down to Totleigh Towers fretting about Jeeves being poached, and reflects on the house and its owner's ill-gotten wealth.Chapter 5, Totleigh Towers
  3. At tea Madeline tells Bertie she still loves Gussie and weeps over his hopeless love for her, and Spode walks in to find Bertie patting her head.Chapters 5–6, the Totleigh drawing-room

Chapter 6

  1. At tea Madeline tells Bertie she still loves Gussie and weeps over his hopeless love for her, and Spode walks in to find Bertie patting her head.Continued from chapter 5
  2. Madeline, showing Bertie to his room, tells her horrified father that Bertie is staying at least a week, and Sir Watkyn totters off for a stiff drink.Chapter 6, the upstairs corridor
  3. At a sombre dinner Bertie admires Sir Watkyn's new black amber statuette, bought from Plank and worth a thousand pounds, offends him by calling it soapstone, and slips off to his room afterwards.Chapters 6–7, the Totleigh dining-room

Chapter 7

  1. At a sombre dinner Bertie admires Sir Watkyn's new black amber statuette, bought from Plank and worth a thousand pounds, offends him by calling it soapstone, and slips off to his room afterwards.Continued from chapter 6
  2. Gussie storms in denouncing vegetables and reveals that the cook is Emerald Stoker, who lost her allowance on a horse and took the job rather than confess to her father.Chapter 7, Bertie's room at Totleigh

Chapter 8

  1. Having eaten next to nothing at a strained dinner, Bertie wakes ravenous in his room and resolves to make for the steak and kidney pie in the kitchen.Chapter 8, Totleigh Towers
  2. Creeping through the dark hall, Bertie collides with Gussie, knocks over Sir Watkyn's precious grandfather clock, is caught by Sir Watkyn in his purple dressing-gown, and the two are driven on to a chest by Bartholomew until Stiffy appears.Chapters 8–9, the hall

Chapter 9

  1. Creeping through the dark hall, Bertie collides with Gussie, knocks over Sir Watkyn's precious grandfather clock, is caught by Sir Watkyn in his purple dressing-gown, and the two are driven on to a chest by Bartholomew until Stiffy appears.Continued from chapter 8

Chapter 10

  1. Jeeves tells Bertie the statuette has been locked in Sir Watkyn's collection room on Spode's advice, but Stiffy, who has a key, fetches it out and sends it back to Bertie to take to Plank after lunch.Chapter 10, Bertie's room at Totleigh
  2. After Emerald Stoker's excellent lunch Bertie, going to his car, calls Stiffy a female Upas tree, and Jeeves suggests asking at the post office where Plank lives.Chapter 10, Totleigh Towers
  3. At the Hockley-cum-Meston post office the old lady behind the counter tells Bertie that Plank is up at the big house with the red shutters.Chapter 10, the post office
  4. Plank, a Rugger-mad explorer, takes Bertie for a Daily Express reporter, and when Bertie produces the statuette and asks for five pounds he threatens to call the police, just as Jeeves comes in through the french window.Chapters 10–11, Plank's house

Chapter 11

  1. Plank, a Rugger-mad explorer, takes Bertie for a Daily Express reporter, and when Bertie produces the statuette and asks for five pounds he threatens to call the police, just as Jeeves comes in through the french window.Continued from chapter 10
  2. At Bertie's car Jeeves explains that Sir Watkyn told Stiffy he really paid Plank a thousand pounds and lied to Uncle Tom to annoy him, briefs Bertie on Plank, and takes the statuette himself in case Spode searches Bertie.Chapter 11, Plank's house
  3. Bertie drives into the Totleigh stable yard and Spode orders him out of the car so he can search it.Chapters 11–12, the stable yard

Chapter 12

  1. Bertie drives into the Totleigh stable yard and Spode orders him out of the car so he can search it.Continued from chapter 11
  2. Madeline corners Bertie in the hall, furious that the vegetarian Gussie has been rude about Spode, and declares she will have nothing more to do with him if he ever eats meat.Chapter 12, the hall

Chapter 13

  1. Bertie tells Jeeves that Gussie and Madeline have fallen out over sunsets and the Blessed Damozel, and decides to dodge the school treat by lunching with Uncle Tom at Brinkley.Chapter 13, Bertie's room at Totleigh
  2. Over Anatole's lunch Bertie cheers Uncle Tom with the news that Pop Bassett's statuette was no bargain, and drives back hoping Gussie can eat meat in London unseen.Chapter 13, Brinkley Court
  3. Jeeves reports that a boy egged Sir Watkyn and Stiffy's dog bit Gussie at the school treat; Gussie goes off to walk with Emerald Stoker, Stinker's vicarage is in doubt, and Spode bursts in.Chapters 13–14, Bertie's room at Totleigh

Chapter 14

  1. Jeeves reports that a boy egged Sir Watkyn and Stiffy's dog bit Gussie at the school treat; Gussie goes off to walk with Emerald Stoker, Stinker's vicarage is in doubt, and Spode bursts in.Continued from chapter 13
  2. Gussie, clutching Emerald's ham sandwiches, declares her his true love and Madeline heartless; Stiffy and Stinker tell Bertie to keep clear of Sir Watkyn, and when Stiffy warns Gussie that Spode is after him he bolts straight into Spode.Chapters 14–15, the yew alley

Chapter 15

  1. Gussie, clutching Emerald's ham sandwiches, declares her his true love and Madeline heartless; Stiffy and Stinker tell Bertie to keep clear of Sir Watkyn, and when Stiffy warns Gussie that Spode is after him he bolts straight into Spode.Continued from chapter 14
  2. Gussie flees with Bertie to meet Emerald in the kitchen garden, where she flattens the pursuing Spode with a basin, and Madeline, finding Gussie over the body, declares she loathes him and it is the end as he defiantly eats a ham sandwich.Chapter 15, the kitchen garden
  3. Bertie meets Jeeves driving Bartholomew back from the vet and tells him the Gussie–Madeline disaster, but Jeeves confesses himself baffled.Chapter 15, the drive
  4. Bertie broods in his room and decides to break his promise to Stiffy and seek a cocktail from Sir Watkyn.Chapter 15, Bertie's room at Totleigh
  5. Over cocktails with Pop Bassett, Bertie hears Stiffy announce there will be no dinner because the cook has eloped with Gussie Fink-Nottle.Chapters 15–17, the Totleigh drawing-room

Chapter 16

  1. Over cocktails with Pop Bassett, Bertie hears Stiffy announce there will be no dinner because the cook has eloped with Gussie Fink-Nottle.Continued from chapter 15

Chapter 17

  1. Over cocktails with Pop Bassett, Bertie hears Stiffy announce there will be no dinner because the cook has eloped with Gussie Fink-Nottle.Continued from chapter 16
  2. On the telephone Aunt Dahlia, delighted that Emerald has taken over as cook while Anatole is ill, asks Bertie to buy Pop Bassett's black amber statuette for Uncle Tom with her legacy.Chapter 17, Totleigh Towers
  3. Back in the drawing-room Bertie ponders how to approach Pop Bassett about the statuette when Spode comes in.Chapters 17–22, the Totleigh drawing-room

Chapter 18

  1. Back in the drawing-room Bertie ponders how to approach Pop Bassett about the statuette when Spode comes in.Continued from chapter 17

Chapter 19

  1. Back in the drawing-room Bertie ponders how to approach Pop Bassett about the statuette when Spode comes in.Continued from chapter 18

Chapter 20

  1. Back in the drawing-room Bertie ponders how to approach Pop Bassett about the statuette when Spode comes in.Continued from chapter 19

Chapter 21

  1. Back in the drawing-room Bertie ponders how to approach Pop Bassett about the statuette when Spode comes in.Continued from chapter 20

Chapter 22

  1. Back in the drawing-room Bertie ponders how to approach Pop Bassett about the statuette when Spode comes in.Continued from chapter 21
  2. Blocked from the window by Bartholomew, Bertie hides under the sofa and hears Spode declare his love to Madeline and denounce Bertie as a thief after the statuette, then go to fetch Sir Watkyn.Chapters 22–23, Totleigh Towers

Chapter 23

  1. Blocked from the window by Bartholomew, Bertie hides under the sofa and hears Spode declare his love to Madeline and denounce Bertie as a thief after the statuette, then go to fetch Sir Watkyn.Continued from chapter 22
  2. Spode, Sir Watkyn and Plank denounce Bertie as a thief, Madeline drops him and accepts Spode, and when Bertie sneezes behind the sofa Sir Watkyn sends for Constable Oates and promises him twenty-eight days.Chapter 23, Totleigh Towers

Chapter 24

  1. Constable Oates, still sore about the cold he caught guarding Bertie's window, marches him to the village lock-up and puts him in its only cell.Chapter 24, the police station
  2. Stiffy visits Bertie's cell and offers to confess to taking the statuette, Bertie refuses to let her, and Oates returns glumly to say Sir Watkyn has dropped the charge.Chapter 24, the police station
  3. Freed, Bertie refuses Stiffy's plan to get even with Oates, then learns from Jeeves that he won the release by agreeing to work for Sir Watkyn for a while, and gives up his Alpine hat to Jeeves, who will pass it on to the courting Butterfield.Chapter 24, Totleigh-in-the-Wold